Sending My Oldest to School

It's just a blog post title--I'm not saying I actually did this yet. :)

Some of you know my passivity on this issue.

People ask -- "Is he in pre-k?"

I usually answer something to the effect of "eventually."

People told me when I had my second that I'd go crazy with the older one at home. They were right. I go crazy somedays. Other people told me I made the right decision because I just couldn't add one more schedule to the mix at that time. New baby and starting school all within one month was too much for my planning, preparation personality. Let's just be real. I'm still in the club that celebrates when we get to take a shower. #babyville

But you know, the other group was right too. Most days I'm happy--thrilled even--with the decision we made to wait on school.

 A couple of weeks ago, while I was rocking down the littlest one, I was in tears the thinking that it will only be a matter of months before H starts a school program. I'm not afraid of this; it's just a sadness with the passage of time. We raise him as much as we've raised him 6 more times, and he's out of the house. I told Josh the other night, "That's all we get."

No sooner had I been a little teary that night rocking P, God spoke clearly. Next year, in pre-school, "He will thrive." Thrive. That's a word I can work with. If it's where he's supposed to be, if it's where he will grow and be his best--- Sign. Me. Up. Don't worry, that's a figure of speech. I'm going to sign him up, and no, I'm not signing myself up to sit next to him.

Today I made the call.

Classes are full, and we are on a waiting list.

You might think I did a happy dance at this news, but I didn't. God told me he would thrive there, and I wanted him there---never mind that I also want a sheep in the Christmas play next year. Badly. God told me to be still, to wait, that He would make a way.

Josh asked if there were other schools that we might want to sign up for just in case. I don't feel like that's the way God is leading yet. And if it's not, J and I certainly don't want to bring Hagar into this situation.

I confess I'm a control person who's trying to turn away from ungodly grips. When they told me there was a waiting list, I gave an undisturbed, "Ok." I gave them my information. I didn't ask what percentage of people from the waiting list get in. I didn't ask how many little tikes were ahead of mine. I didn't make sure they transposed my phone number correctly. I didn't ask when I could hear back. I wanted to---but I didn't.

So, I didn't know it was time to register for school. But I can't beat myself up for that. I'm just going forward with what God has said. When he goes to school next year, he will thrive.

Now, the other option is he can "stay home and be an idiot." My grandmother used to chase me around with this phrase, begging me to stay home every semester break from college.

I did graduate from college, and he will go to school. Eventually. I'm still believing strongly for this fall.

Until then, I'm cherishing my extra time with my always singing, sticker-loving, carrot eating, sock-slinging Goliath-fighter.

Life is good with you, H.